There Is No Past Version of Yourself That You Need to Get Back To

✨ This post is part of Today’s Working Woman — a space for real talk, quiet ambition, and everyday growth. Here, we share honest reflections and practical tools to help women show up fully in work and in life. Because being ambitious doesn’t mean being perfect — it means being human, and that’s always enough.

There have been times I have caught myself scrolling through old photos, thinking, “If only I could get back to her.” Back to the version of me who was younger, who looked healthier (and skinnier), seemed more confident, or felt more successful. I told myself that if I could “return” to that past version of me, life would somehow be easier again.

But looking back with clearer eyes, I realize something important: that girl wasn’t perfect either. She carried insecurities I’ve since outgrown, doubts I’ve since silenced, and lessons I hadn’t yet learned. She wasn’t better — she was just earlier in the story. And while she mattered, I wouldn’t trade her for who I am now.

Why We Idealize the Past

It’s natural to romanticize past versions of ourselves, especially when the present feels messy or uncertain or incredibly hard. Maybe you’re struggling with your health (like me), questioning your career path (like me), or navigating a tough relationship (like me). In those moments, it’s tempting to long for a time when you think you had it “all together.”

But here’s the truth: growth doesn’t happen by going back. It happens by moving forward.

Growth Is Messy — and That’s the Point

One of the biggest reasons we cling to the past is fear. The unknown feels intimidating. Questions like “Who am I now?” or “What does my true self look like in this season?” can be uncomfortable.

But that’s exactly where transformation begins. Growth is rarely, if ever, a linear process.

Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one step back. Sometimes it looks like confusion, detours, or setbacks. But those messy middle moments? That’s where the breakthroughs happen.

What the Past Has Taught You

Instead of wishing to return to who you used to be, ask yourself: What have I learned since then?

Maybe you’ve gained resilience, learned to set boundaries, or discovered new values that guide you. Those lessons are proof of your growth — and they’ve made you stronger, wiser, and more equipped for what’s ahead.

Your past self was important, but she wasn’t perfect. And she isn’t the destination. She was simply the foundation for who you are becoming.

Practical Ways to Let Go of “Past You”

1. Reframe nostalgia. Instead of saying, “I wish I were who I used to be,” try, “I’m grateful for who I was and even more grateful for who I’m becoming.”

2. Get curious about now. Write down what you’ve learned in the last year and how those lessons shape the person you are today. Do this regularly to remind yourself of the lessons learned.

3. Release the pedestal. Remember, your past self struggled too — she just had different challenges.

4. Trust the process. Growth often feels uncomfortable before it feels empowering. Let the in-between moments shape you.

5. Celebrate forward momentum. Every step forward — no matter how small — is proof of evolution.

Final Thought

There is no past version of yourself you need to get back to. She played her role, she taught you what you needed, and now it’s time to honor the person you’re becoming.

✨ You’re not regressing. You’re evolving. And the chapters ahead hold even more than the chapters behind.

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